Buddy Willard is a Human Bell Jar

    Buddy Willard is a character who provokes some of Esther's strongest commentary. At first glance, her hatred and disgust for him seem overly pessimistic and critical. After all, he's such an accomplished and lauded young man who certainly has the attention of several other women. Her family and other close peers clearly view him as the ultimate boyfriend Esther could ever have, so why doesn't she? Is she being fair toward Buddy? The reason for her criticism, however, is precisely this flattering view of Buddy held by society in combination with the experiences Esther shares with him. Esther is certainly a strong social critic, and the fact that the expectations of Buddy differ from the expectations of her sits particularly poorly with her. She often uses the word "hypocrite" when describing Buddy, which initially may seem difficult to interpret, but Esther makes it clear that getting to know Buddy quickly reveals his many flaws, "Of course, I didn't know what a hypocrite he was at first. I thought he was the most wonderful boy I'd ever seen" (52). This idea of hypocrisy doesn't just apply to Buddy; it extends to society itself and Buddy's role in it. Seeing how a seemingly clueless male can fare so well in society compared to a more competent and intelligent female is deeply troubling to Esther and a major reason behind her negative feelings towards Buddy. The more time she spends with him, the more these feelings spiral and eventually, Buddy becomes a walking reminder of Esther's greatest vexations. She feels bound to him, which puts her in a immensely uncomfortable position. 

   The idea of Buddy as a "walking reminder of Esther's greatest vexations" is clear as Esther struggles to enjoy herself during the time she spends with Buddy. Their dates fall into the order of her worst experiences in the entire book (and that's saying something.) When he invites her to the Yale Junior Prom, she initially can't hold back her excitement, "I was so surprised I let out a couple of yips and ran into the house shouting, 'I'm going I'm going I'm going'" (60). His invitation to her comes after she already called him a hypocrite, but clearly there's something overly enticing about Buddy and his high status. Unfortunately, their date to the Yale Junior Prom only adds to the list of why Esther can't stand him. Her description of the experience reveals plenty, "Well, all during the Junior Prom Buddy treated me like a friend or cousin. We danced about a mile apart the whole time...Then, in the cold, black three o'clock wind, we walked the five miles back to the house where I was sleeping in the living room on a couch... I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions" (60). The initial observation is that, once again, Buddy did not live up to the expectations Esther had, or was given, of him. He shows her how easy it can be for a girl like her to end up with a guy who is admired and seemingly quite wonderful on the surface despite actually being a complete loser. The following event that takes place on the hilltop is a metaphor for Buddy's shortcomings that only furthers this point. Buddy tells her of the beautiful view behind the chemistry lab, though when they arrive there, Esther notes dully that, "sure enough, there was a sort of hilly place behind the chemistry lab from which you could see the lights of a couple of the houses in New Haven" (61). Somehow, the more Buddy tries to impress Esther, the more he fails. She can't help but feel disturbed at the fact that this male, so naive and clueless, has such an easy life compared to hers. Surely, something has to happen that justifies Buddy's high social status, yet matters only get worse from here. He kisses her, as Esther notes, "a dry, uninspiring little kiss," (61) and then acts as though it was something grand. Realizing that Esther is quite unimpressed, Buddy shrinks into a corner, stating that Esther must go out on a lot of dates, which is something he isn't able to do because of all his studying. Esther then points out that she also has to study a lot, perhaps more because of her scholarship. She can't stand Buddy acting as though he has a difficult life compared to hers when the reality is that she has a more difficult life but is simply far more capable than him.

    The hospital tour serves as yet another reminder to Esther of how much she hates society and Buddy. There are certain sights that Esther struggles to stomach, namely the cadavers, pickled babies in jars, and live birth that Buddy is able to simply shrug off (as it seems he does with many things in life). As she ponders the fact that the corpses were once real people, he boasts of how he once won an award for collecting them, which to her seems as though he views them as objects and not people. Her whole experience of touring the hospital is a time when she reflects on the corrupt gender roles in society, and all the while it feels as though Buddy is showing off these disturbing realizations, touting their brilliance to her. While Buddy likely thinks that everything he's doing is proving to Esther what a wonderful guy he is, his actions are actually having the completely opposite effect; he exposes his lack of sympathy that appears to stem from the easy life he has in this society. He describes the drug that the delivering mother is put on, which doesn't relieve her of any pain but simply makes her forget it later on. Meanwhile Esther thinks to herself, "I thought it sounded just like the sort of drug a man would invent. Here was a woman in terrible pain, obviously feeling every bit of it or she wouldn't groan like that, and she would go straight home and start another baby, because the drug would make her forget how bad the pain had been" (66). She clearly feels incredibly alone in the room watching the live birth. As a woman, she feels detached from the medical system as all the male doctors surrounding her fail to understand the struggles of the mother. As with the Yale Junior Prom, her initial interest gives way to a dreadful experience and massive disappointment in Buddy. What makes everything worse  is that here, Buddy is quite literally an ambassador for the medical system, which reflects exceptionally bad on him from Esther's point of view.

   While Esther clearly despises Buddy's personality, the social dynamics only serve to augment her hatred of him as she feels pressured by others to marry him. Throughout the book, she makes it clear that she does not intend to get married and have children, including stating her thoughts directly to Buddy. His immediate reply is one that shows a lack of understanding, "'You're crazy,' Buddy brightened. 'You'll change your mind.' 'No. My mind's made up.' But Buddy just went on looking cheerful" (93). His reply is one that fails to take Esther seriously, and he shows a disappointing lack of care as he attaches himself to her in a way that she can't stand. The pressure of a decision as serious as marriage with somebody as unserious as Buddy Willard is one that understandably gives Esther her strong feeling of unease. Considering an outsider's view into her making the decision to reject Buddy fills her with guilt, as if she is somehow wrong and sacrificing everything by rejecting Buddy, despite knowing deep down that she despises him. She even considers leaving New England entirely and moving to Chicago, where she can hopefully relieve her guilt, "nobody would know I had thrown up a scholarship at a big eastern women's college and mucked up a month in New York and refused a perfectly solid medical student for a husband who would one day be a member of the AMA and earn pots of money" (132). She is clearly incredibly torn, and despite her hatred of Buddy himself, feels trapped by the guilt she feels rejecting him. In society's view, she has royally messed up. The deep reflections and despairing doubts she encounters as she ponders marriage, met by the ignorant cheerfulness of Buddy, make her feel completely misunderstood while also bound to him and all that he represents in an incredibly uncomfortable way.

    The role of society and gender roles in Esther and Buddy's relationship certainly pressure her to marry him. However, they are also the reason she feels that she can't bring herself to marry him. Buddy's mother, Mrs. Willard, comes into play when you consider how Esther pities her, toiling away at home in service of her husband and son. There are many cases where Esther simply makes her negative view of the housewife life clear, but there is one instance where she also references marriage in combination with the corruption of gender in society. This remark occurs when she is describing an elaborate rug that Mrs. Willard had knitted, pointing out that, "She had spent weeks on that rug, and I had admired the tweedy browns and greens and blues patterning the braid" (84). This perfectly pleasant depiction of Mrs. Willard's work is immediately hit by the truck of Esther's view toward women's unfair place in society, "but after Mrs. Willard was through, instead of hanging the rug on the wall the way I would have done, she put it down in place of her kitchen mat, and in a few days it was soiled and dull... And I knew that in spite of all the roses and kisses and restaurant dinners a man showered on a woman before he married her, what he secretly wanted when the wedding service ended was for her to flatten out underneath his feet like Mrs. Willard's kitchen mat" (84-85). Somebody as closely related to Buddy as his mother serving as evidence to Esther of why marriage is a bad idea only adds to her uncertainty and the feeling of being torn. She can't bring herself to marry Buddy, yet she still feels as though some invisible force won't allow her to get rid of him. She's working against the social norms that are trying to trap her, and it's an uphill mental battle.   

    There are undoubtedly aspects of Esther's experiences with Buddy that make the reader feel bad for him. He was never aware of Esther feeling trapped under the bell jar, and of her difficulty receiving love from others, including her family. The coldness she has towards him occasionally seems unfair. Nevertheless, she can't be blamed for feeling disappointed and uncertain about her relationship with Buddy. Others see him as a gold standard who she simply must marry, but she neither intends to get married in the first place nor admires Buddy after what she's discovered about him (that others seemingly haven't.) He definitely puts her in a difficult position and, while she denies it, I would argue that he is a major reason for her depression. In addition to constantly reminding Esther of the rigged gender roles in society, he fills her with uncertainty and self-doubt when she thinks of how her rejection of him would look like on paper to her peers, the people who are pressuring her. In a sense, Buddy is a form of bell jar in his own right. He puts Esther into what feels like a trap, and one that worsens her condition from being stuck inside, while also exposing her to the many eyes, expectations, and judgements of society. 

Rico Duursma